I Think I Needed To Create In Private For A While

I haven't written a blog post since June, and I could tell you it's because I've been busy, and to be really truthful, I have.

But actually, I realise it's more than that.

Before I get into it though, I wanted to ask you a question...

Have you ever felt like your life was starting to feel a tiny bit like a performance?

You know, as if suddenly you're thinking about how everything looks from the outside, rather than simply being in the experience of it?

I started to notice that in myself recently.

Not in a huge, dramatic “I'm packing it all in and moving to a house in the middle of nowhere” kind of way, but just a little feeling that I'd become a bit too conscious of creating, sharing, posting and being visible.

And I realised I needed to give myself some space, so I decided to create in private for a while. No audience, no content plan, and definitely no wondering whether something was going to make a good Instagram post. It was just me, making things because I wanted to.

And do you know what?

it was soooo lovely ☺️ 

I did a charcoal portrait, and yep, it wasn’t great, but I loved it, because for once, it didn't matter whether it was good. I wasn't going to photograph it, or post it. I certainly wasn't going to sell it.

It was simply something I wanted to learn, and there was something so freeing about that. It made me realise that, actually, maybe this is where my best ideas come from. Not when I'm trying to come up with the next thing to share, but  when I'm just making things because I'm curious to see how it goes.

That's where I find the new technique or a new way of working, or even a brand new series that gets me hooked and I can’t stop thinking about it. That’s when I get all excited and want to share it, I mean genuinely, because it’s got me so fired up. It’s when I realise  I've learnt something that I might eventually want to teach someone else.

And this is the little bit of space I want to protect, and I think I'm going to keep giving myself permission to do just that.

To be curious, make things that don't work, and get messy. To learn something just because I fancy having a go at it, andddd to let my art change as I change. And this what I love so much about art and creating in general. You never have to actually know where it’s going, you just have to start, and who knows what might happen!

I've got a few ideas taking place at the moment, but I’ve decided I'm not going to rush them into existence . Instead I'm just going to really enjoy making them, and then, when it feels right, I'll share them with you.

Much love

Rosie x